The Master Cleanse: Day 3


I didn’t really think to write about my journey through the Master Cleanse detox diet until this morning after reading an email from a friend reminding me to keep a journal of everything that occurs day by day. Keeping record of how many times I poop in a day and how many cups of lemonade I drink is vital to a successful completion of this cleansing experience. This is my second attempt at the cleanse, the first time being this past September which resulted in the newfound discovery of cooking and baking and the inevitable gaining of 15 pounds as well as a gluttonous compulsive eating habit. I made the mistake of ending the cleanse a day early and not waiting two days to eat solid food again. I dug right into a big piece of brownie followed by a huge ham, lettuce, tomato sandwich on a roll with doritos. I have been permanently full and bloated since then. The first time did lead to this passion for cooking, especially baking but directed me to an unhealthy diet of consuming multiple helpings of coconut brownies before even starting on the roasted vegetables that waited patiently for me. I’ve quit smoking at the second time only to return 2 months later. I’ve done the same this second time around and vow never to be a smoker again.

The master cleanse is slightly an act of masochistic deprivation. To deprive your body of a primal act of survival and sustenance is torturous. It not only saps energy out of your physical body, it traumatizes your brain signaling DANGER and eventually combusts to a dysfunctional oblivion. This is what happened to me the first time. Why then, am I doing this again? Because I maintain a healthy dose of self-destructive behavior and am guilty of always wanting to start fresh and new, wash away the bad, the old, the accumulated junk, swipe it all away and start with a clean palate. That’s how I’ve approached relationships, work, school. It’s a building up of getting sick until I just can’t handle getting sick of it any longer and burst and explode into a tantrum and shout ENOUGH! The last few months have been great in that I’ve tried recipes and ingredients that I’ve never come across in my entire life, but I’ve been eating in such disproportionate rations that it’s eventually debilitated my sense of well-being. I felt fat and bloated all the time and could barely fit into my clothes. I gained 15 pounds and in the last few weeks was short of not caring and ate all day nonstop. So a few reasons of embarking on the cleanse yet again:

1. Rid this compulsive eating habit. To learn to moderate rations and willingly stop eating when stomach tells me I’ve had enough. To find peace between mind and body and engage in conscious eating.

2. To lose this heinous belly fat that folds over jeans and jiggles when jumping. Shudder.

3. Start incorporating healthy healthy meals and desserts into my diet. I’ve just found a few great blogs that will help me do this. No more all purpose flour and refined sugar, yes to oat flour, Mercado sugar, date bars, and rolled oats, soba noodles,  vegan chocolate cake, homemade granola bars, eggless frittata, chili, tofu, chickpeas, peanut sauce, coconut oil, and vegan cranberry scones. I will never be a full out vegetarian/vegan, I’m Korean and that would be impossible. But, I can limit intake of beef to a minimal and poultry to weekly. I can’t friggin’ wait!

I am currently on Day 3 and I feel lighter and airier today than I have the last 2 days. I’m not hungry, I’ve been eating with my eyes browsing through tastespotting and hundreds of other blogs bookmarking millions of recipes. I haven’t had serious cravings or urges to eat or smoke, I’ve been feeling pretty normal if not a bit weak and aloof. I went jogging last night which felt awesome. I have been going to bed super early, around 10 which I haven’t done in years. I’ve made it a rule never to crawl into bed before midnight because sleeping is a waste of time and I don’t need more than 6 hours. Well, I’ve done some catching up the last 2 days that’s for sure. I haven’t frequented the bathroom the first 2 days as I expected which can only mean there’s a bunch of shit (well intended pun) clogged in there. Today was another matter, I frequented the bathrooms frequently. Which is good, I think detox is officially starting today whereas the last 2 days it was preparing to rev up and decompose all that nasty stuff in my intestines.  This cleanse is the drano that declogs and cleans up your intestinal and blood pipes. It will make you so fresh and so clean after. Let us see what tomorrow brings.

Now to ramble abit about the Master Cleanse, the manifesto was published in 1976 by Stanley Burroughs and was originally used to cure ulcer. It’s extended since then to be a surefire way to cleanse the entire body system of toxins, not just the belly. It’s recently become popular once the likes of Beyonce engaged in the cleanse and lost a few pounds. It’s not only a physical cleansing but a spiritual and psychological release.

The recipe for the lemonade:

2 TBSP fresh squeezed preferably organic lemon juice

2 TBSP organic maple syrup preferably grade B

1/10 TSP Cayenne Pepper.

Mix it all together with cold or hot water and drink 6 – 12 cups a day.

Every night drink Senna Tea to contract intestines and encourage pooping, upon waking drinking 4 cups of seasalt water, which is just a mix of 2 TSP of sea salt and lukewarm water. This finds balance with your blood stream and flushes through your intestines causing you to poop a few times in the next half hour to hour.

The lemon works as alkaline and neutralizes the toxins. The syrup gives you energy and power and sustainability. The pepper releases mucus from toxins.

One can pursue the cleanse for up to 30 days, as long as you continue for at least 10 days you will see successful results. You know when you’re done when your tongue is clear and pink. Breaking out of the fast is super important, you can’t rush to solid food. Depending on if you’ve maintained a vegetarian diet prior to the cleanse, the process differs. But basically you drink orange juice only on the first day, and incorporate fruit for lunch the second day and maybe veggie soup for dinner with no solids, on the third day off stick to veggie soup and by dinner have solids.

I just pray I don’t pick up old habits and keep up with the goals I’ve created for myself once this is over.



Filed under Food

8 responses to “The Master Cleanse: Day 3

  1. This isn’t so related, but today is the first day of lent – when you give up something for 40 days! Between this post and today marking the beginning of lent, I’m feeling encouraged to start anew. Exercise, exercise!

  2. I always wondered about this cleanse diet thing. As I began reading, I wondered why anyone would wanna do this to themselves. But as I got towards the ending of your writing, it made me wanna give some thought to pursuing this cleanse.

    Thanks. And great blog.

  3. Great blog post and great read! I love the way you write 🙂
    – Fellow Master Cleanser

  4. masochistic deprivation — i like this very much. hehe. but really, i think the Master Cleanse is acquired taste. the first three days are really the hardest.

  5. Pingback: The Best Fish and Soup I’ve Made Thus Far. « updownacross

  6. I have been extremely fond of the Master cleanse diet for a number of reasons as a fasting tool rather than a weight loss tool. Great post

  7. I was planning to do this, master cleansing. Thanks for the post.

  8. A person essentially help to make seriously articles I would state.
    This is the first time I frequented your web page and up to now?
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