I’m noticing the decrease in readership when I don’t post regularly, and it hurts. As I’ve mentioned I am very behind and have a number of recipes, shows, fairs and restaurant reviews I am yet to cover. It’s a slow and steady task, please be patient and keep coming back for more. Now that I write for Greenpointers and an art journal (1st article to be posted soon), it’s becoming more difficult to split time writing for all sources. Plus I’ve been frolicking around covering all sorts of events and have barely had time to sit in front of a computer. I’m 2 weeks behind on my Reader post and haven’t read any other blog or site in that long period of time. Oof oof oof.
I’m trying to take it all in with peaceful ease and just take it one at a time without panicking. Eventually I’ll find a balance that works for me, but, perhaps I am partaking in one too many projects. I’m hoping to organize a show in a vacant space in greenpoint showing local artists, trying to bake and sell, trying to put together a supper club type event, read all them books and mags and sites, and write…I’m an overachiever which is typical of my race and I’m afraid I will blow a fuse in my brain and shut down.
Plus, I had a moment of moral dilemma/existential crisis when thinking about my writing process this weekend. I’m as close to a critic as an amateur writer can get in the fields of art, food and general culture and I’m starting to link my early struggles with always unsuccessfully wanting to fit in and belong with my intent on receiving credit and acknowledgment through writing good things about artists, restaurants, shows, etc and “discovering” unrecognized individuals, venues, etc. I find this to be inherently wrong but it’s an effort that is secondary to a passion in art, food, people, and writing. This left me in more panic and I am confused and somewhat guilty.
I’ve been thinking lately about the role of art criticism and it’s being subject to judgment and personal taste no matter how much a writer attempts to ignore it and pursue pure formalist objectivity. I thought about what influenced my taste, aesthetic and judgment and besides being attracted to abstraction, especially abstractions that reference reality and the real, as well as any works dealing with obsessive accumulation and repetition, I intend to write about shows and artists that I like, and try to make as many studio visits as possible in hopes to not only understand an artist’s process and thoughts better but for them to accept me and credit me for writing good things about them without compensating their efforts. Is this wrong? This extension from a childhood struggle to be accepted to be reflected in my interest as a writer/critic? It’s been worrying me and although I’m not going to quit writing I think perhaps I have to reaccess my goals and purpose in the field.
Help me, enlighten me. Is this normal?