A New Year State of Mind

Happy 2011 Folks! Are you excited? I sure am.

Frankly, the last couple months have been brutal. Ever since Greenpoint Open Studios ended I felt major withdrawal from life. There were serious potential changes being made and it was all a matter of smart decision-making. I was drowning in ambivalence and indecision for the longest time and was struggling with panic attacks the way I did a couple years ago. Throughout December however I made a rough plan for self-improvement and some relieving and comforting decisions were made within the last few weeks.

ONE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT I should share with you: I’m getting married.

Yep. You heard right folks. I’m getting married.

I’ll refrain from serenading you with all the love and mushy goodness Angel and I share everyday but can I just brag, just a little bit, about how awesome Angel is? He is hands down the most unconditionally loving, wholeheartedly caring, and selflessly generous man I’ve ever been with. He’s emotionally sound and mentally stable which are a great plus, he’s awfully handsome with the most luscious head of curls and grayest of eyes, and he’s at his best behavior when goofy and wide-grinned.

So, yea. I’m getting married.

On my list of things to do in 2011 is now the planning of a wedding. Plus moving into a new home, in a new neighborhood. Plus thinking really really hard about where I want to be by the time December 2011 rolls around.

I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking over and over and over again about what I want to get paid doing. There are one too many things out there that I want to do, which leaves me scattered and overwhelmed but I have to imagine doing something that will actually pay my bills and then some.

So for 2011 I made a list of resolutions and plans, all of which I fully intend on achieving. I’ll share some here but please do promise to not laugh or mock or jest. or else.

– Today starts my 3rd journey into The Master Cleanse. I’m quitting smoking at the same time and so far at noon I’m feeling if not a tad hungry. It doesn’t help much that I work inside a food store, surrounded by cookies, meatball marinara, an array of hot sandwiches, chips, and chocolates but I’ll endure. I’ll keep tabs of my experience here as the days trudge along.

– Read 1 book a month. Sounds pathetic and juvenile saying it out loud but considering I read maybe 4 books whole last year this will be a feat. I’m assigning specific pages that must be read in a day in order to finish it within a month. Currently I’m halfway through Dave Egger’s The Wild Things which is a smooth and easy read so I think I’ll get to finish before the end of the month.

– Stay completely up to date with magazines and websites. I subscribe to a gazillion websites on my google reader and get completely overwhelmed and don’t go anywhere near it for weeks and out of fear and hysteria mark them all read and let go of the situation. I’d like to not get all compulsive on it and check through it everyday, little by little, blog by blog. Same goes for magazines. I subscribe to plenty weeklies and monthlies and just let it pile and pile and pile until exasperatingly but guiltily chuck em in the recycle bin. I have every intention now to keep within date of issue and not fall behind, and if I do, don’t let it pile, just chuck it and fogetaboutit.

– Stay active with social media. I hate twitter alittle bit. It’s abstract, fussy, inconsequential, irrelevant. But also powerful. I haven’t mastered speaking in 140 words or less and hate looking at odd letter sequences adding up to a link or picture. I hate that I can’t see it right away the way you can on facebook’s newsfeed. And your own post can get lost and unseen so easily, so what’s the point. There is a point and I know that. I’m going to try to stay on top of my SM game and be as recognizable as french toast.

– Stay active, physically. In the hayday I practiced yoga 7 days week. I won’t be doing that again but I made a goal to practice twice a week and start swing classes on weekends with Angel. We’re going to lindy hop our asses off.

– Eat healthy, in small portions. I generally eat healthy, organic, local, all that stuff. My biggest issue if portioning and timing my meals. I eat large portions that make my belly all bloated and knotty. I’ll be cutting down on dairy as I’m convinced that’s what also makes my belly knot as if lactose intolerant. Also cutting down on bread and pasta and incorporating more of a Korean diet the way I grew up. Eating Korean food feels that much more natural for me to consume and my body reacts so well to it. So let’s learn to cook some Korean!

– New fully integrated cultural website that’s up and running and fucking awesome by the end of 2011. This needs to be much more thought out. But basically I love the idea of turning myself into a pseudo mini media mogul and build a website that is as self-historicizing as it is culturally relevant. In the next 6 months dedicate the hell out of building a website and filling it with content from all over the cultural realm, with a heightened focus on art and food and document my experiences and share amazing happenings throughout the city. Increase readership by the thousands, pick up advertisers, and officially become self-employed by end of 2011. Sounds easy doesn’t it?

– Or, brainstorm opening a rotating event space that is consistently interesting and successful. I’ve daydreamed of hundreds of different versions of how a space like such would go about and I’d rather not share them all here yet. Let’s just see how ambitions and circumstances collide and take it from there.

– Dress like a lady. Not a prissy useless lady, but a fashionable lady with functional attire with sprits of gainly decor. I want to have nice shoes, nice coats, nice dresses, and get my nails did and have a stylish haircut and just feel awesome when I walk down the street.

That’s about all as far as resolutions and plans for 2011 go. Not so bad right?

4 Comments

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4 responses to “A New Year State of Mind

  1. Hugh

    Holy crap high fives! Where y’all going?

  2. what’s this about another neighborhood? MFer!

    Congrats! Happy for you!

  3. Liz

    !!!

    First: Congrats to you & Angel!

    Second: Great resolutions. I have many that are very similar, actually. And I’m with you on becoming a mini-media-mogul, have been plotting some things myself … We should chat sometime!

    Miss you, miss Greenpoint….

    Good luck with the wedding planning, and the New Year’s goals!

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